Q. How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they ...
The Washington Post asked readers to take any word from the dictionary... alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter... and supply a new definition! 1) Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. 2) Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 3) Giraffiti: Vandal...
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only i...
(A quick check list for those who need to make contact.] 1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours. 2. Don't writ...
"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - Dave Platt "Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." - Jeff Valdez "There is no snooze button for a cat that wants breakfast." -Anonymous "Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." - Anonymous "In a cat's eye,...
This consultant is working on a Web development project for a client, and he's also got a nontechnical intern to keep busy. Fortunately, that's a solution, not a problem. "Part of the project included setting up about 150 user accounts for the client's customers to log in to a secure portion of the site and download their reports," says the consult...
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. Aft...
- A medical student was working in the toxicology department at the poison control center. A woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. The medical student quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the...
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, wh...
Law of Cat Inertia - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. Law of Cat Motion - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction. Law of Cat Magnetism - All blue blazers and black sweaters attract c...
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, âThis is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.â The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, âWhich do you want, son?â The boy takes the quarters and leaves. âWhat did I tell you?â...
Hi Jokes.com,
I find some jokes easy to understand, others not- what's your view on jokes? Is it all down to the delivery of the joke
-The Pun
-Maybe it's just someone's type of sense of humor?
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